Well, Dr. sipmac found this piece and ask me (via April Camus) to post his response here because he couldn’t publish it in sipmacrants because of editorial considerations. Camus is a Mensch, so I said yes.

You Might Be A Conservative If…
August 15, 2011
By Bruce Lindner

1: You’re irate over the president taking so many vacation days on the taxpayer’s dime (61 thus far), but you thought George W. Bush earned every minute of his leisure time (196 days at the same point in his presidency).

Not at all. It’s the most powerful job in the world, hence the most demanding, so they both should suck it up and keep on working hard, since everything seems to be hanging by a thread. Obviating defects it’s not an exclusive conservative trait, anyway.

2: You’re happy with your 40 hour work week, paid vacations and company-provided healthcare, but you’re strongly anti-union, because those commies haven’t done anything for you lately.

A few years ago, the Detroit public-school teachers’ union went on strike to prevent the city from accepting a private gift of $200 million to build 15 charter schools. The city now faces a shortfall of more than $300 million, and schools are closing by the dozen (Mario Loyola). They were the solution once, now they’re the problem.

3: You strongly support the First Amendment and it’s guarantee of religious freedom to all, but you don’t think Muslims have a right to build an Islamic Community Center in Manhattan.

Sure they have the right, but… do they really, really need to build it near Ground Zero? Would they build their mosque anywhere else, pretty please with sugar on top? Sensitivity for thee but not for me?

4: You believe Ronald Reagan was a devout Christian, even though he hated going to church, but any president who spends twenty years going to the same Trinity United Church in Chicago must be a Muslim.

Not a Muslim, but an extremist. Listening twenty years to inflammatory, demagogic rhetoric without voicing discontent or dissent only when facing a presidential election pretty much wraps it, don’t you think?

5: You believe when a Republican governor creates a healthcare package with an individual mandate for everyone in his state, that’s a good idea. But when a Democratic president does it, suddenly it’s unconstitutional.

A federal mandate to buy something is clearly unconstitutional. If an individual state chooses to have it its own way it’s clearly up to it. Not to mention it could be a good idea but poorly executed.

6: You’re so enthused about demonstrating your Second Amendment rights, you can think of no finer place to brandish your pistol in public than at a presidential rally.

You want me to justify every poor decision made by a conservative, otherwise I won’t be a real conservative? Is that what you’re saying?

7: You believe Bill Clinton was responsible for Osama bin Laden’s escape ten years ago, but thankfully George W. Bush caught up with him and killed him in Pakistan.

Could it be ever possible that both presidents could share a responsibility?

8: You believe in putting American jobs first, except when president Obama rescued 1.5 million GM and Chrysler autoworkers, because that was socialism.

Ever wonder why the high unemployment? Putting American jobs first by screwing up stock and bondholders is a pretty bad idea because it sets a horrible business climate. The measure turns against you.  

9: It angers you that you can’t communicate with the Mexican busboy at your local Olive Garden, but when you took a vacation to San Francisco’s Chinatown, you thought it’s quaint that so many Chinese-Americans are holding fast to their traditional language. Because that’s America!

No. I wish I could use the lingua franca of the country anywhere. That’s pretty much it.

10: You deny that the lunatic who tried to murder Gaby Giffords was a conservative, even though he targeted a Jewish, pro-choice, pro gay rights, Democratic Congresswoman.

Sorry Bruce, but evidence points  in the opposite direction, i.e., that the lunatic shooter is a leftist. The media (and you) have tried anything to pin this on the evil conservatives, but anyone with a computer and a modem can find out the truth.

11: You thought it was perfectly normal that every president in history had an untethered right to raise the debt ceiling when warranted, but when Obama asked the GOP held congress to do it, you thought it only natural that it be tied to cutting Social Security and Medicare.

If you think nothing dangerous will happen by printing money out of thin air and sinking the country in a debt spiral that will be paid by generations to come, so be it. Besides, there’s nothing to fix about Medicare and Social Security, right?

12: When the new 112th Congress was sworn in, you swooned as they promised to focus on “Jobs, jobs, jobs.” But when they pivoted, and went after NPR, Planned Parenthood and gay rights, you cheered.

Actually, they did. Ever heard about The Path to Prosperity? No? I thought you did. Too bad that the “only adult in the room” (and you) didn’t care.

13: You accuse president Obama of raising your taxes to the highest point ever, even though they’re lower today than at any time since 1950.

No, that’s his intention, to raise taxes, to expand the role of government, regardless of the current level.

14: You believe the wealthiest Americans are “job creators,” and they are — but it doesn’t bother you that all the workers in those positions are in India, China and Malaysia, and they’re doing the jobs that our fathers once did.

It’s that everybody likes to create wealth (and jobs) with a huge burden of government regulations, thuggish unions scaring the hell out of you and bringing you into submission and community organizers telling you how to run your business, isn’t it?

15: You believe gays are anti-American, because their lifestyle is a threat to the children… unless they’re married to Tea Party-backed presidential candidates from Minnesota.

No. Not at all. What’s your point with Michelle Bachmann’s husband? He’s not manly enough as he should be or what?

16: You strongly defend individual freedom, but that freedom doesn’t include a woman’s right to decide her own healthcare needs.

Only if she can easily find information in detail of all the choices she can made. Desperate people shouldn’t be painted in a corner.

17: You believe corporations are people too, and are deserving of the same rights as the rest of us. Just not the same obligations to pay personal income tax-free of corporate loopholes, or penalties for massive criminal behavior and tax evasion. In these matters, corporations are deserving of special rights.

No, corporations are not people. Criminal behavior of a corporation should be punished starting by revoking its charter of incorporation. Responsibility is the key here.

18: And since corporations are now people too, you must believe in their right to a driver’s license, the right to marry, to adopt children, etc. These rights shall not be denied to Exxon, Halliburton and BP (but still immune from the right of the People to try, convict and sentence to death any corporation that conspires to commit a felony… because at that point, they’re suddenly not people again.)

Litigiousness culture cut both ways, you know what I mean. Cut your reduction ad absurdum, please. You’re dreaming of massive class-action suits that reek of fishing expeditions.

19: You still believe Climate Change is a myth, and the recent record highs, lows, floods and droughts around the world coinciding with climate scientist’s predictions are all an amazing coincidence. Oh, and Al Gore is FAT!

I think I’ll let Nobel prize winner for physics in 1973 Dr. Ivar Giaever speak (he resigned as a Fellow from the American Physical Society (APS) on September 13, 2011 in disgust over the group’s promotion of man-made global warming fears): “Thank you for your letter inquiring about my membership. I did not renew it because I cannot live with the (APS) statement below (on global warming): APS: ‘The evidence is incontrovertible: Global warming is occurring. If no mitigating actions are taken, significant disruptions in the Earth’s physical and ecological systems, social systems, security and human health are likely to occur. We must reduce emissions of greenhouse gases beginning now.’ “In the APS it is ok to discuss whether the mass of the proton changes over time and how a multi-universe behaves, but the evidence of global warming is incontrovertible? The claim (how can you measure the average temperature of the whole earth for a whole year?) is that the temperature has changed from ~288.0 to ~288.8 degree Kelvin in about 150 years, which (if true) means to me is that the temperature has been amazingly stable, and both human health and happiness have definitely improved in this ‘warming’ period.” Gee, I could go on. And on.

20: You believe when George W. Bush took the national debt from $5 trillion to $11 trillion, it was necessary for him to do so to keep America safe. But when Barack Obama added to it by trying to rescue the country from a second Great Depression, he was deliberately trying to destroy America!

The money was dilapidated, witness Solyndra. You can’t claim of jobs saved and created. You can’t spend your way out of a recession. Do you think everything is fine and dandy now thanks to the stimulus? Really?

21: You believe America is a God-fearing country, and that the Almighty protects those who believe just as you do. But it’s never crossed your mind that the majority of tornadoes, hurricanes and floods all occur in the Bible Belt.

Gee, go and study Christianity or else don’t bother asking such a question!

22: You believe that no matter who’s in the White House, the office, if not the man himself is deserving of your respect. The only exceptions to this rule, are if his middle name sounds Muslim, and if he’s not at least as white as that black guy who works down in the mailroom at the office.

Respect must be earned. If you bow to every tyrant, berate your country in front of the world, if you’re the first lady and had been proud of your country only once in your adult life, if you use unrepentant terrorists as advisors and if you treat the electorate as vassals, why even wonder of disrespect?

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About jokerizedpaul

A member of the sipmac team with armed only with his blog. Un miembro de the sipmac team armado sólo con su blog. Casi nunca la opinión correcta... al menos casi nunca la opinión que esperabas escuchar. Almost never the "right" worldview ... not even what you expect to hear. En el Blog Opinion Renegada, Paul Maršić de the sipmac team da rienda suelta a sus más calenturientas opiniones sobre cualquier tema, y paradójicamente intenta ser también responsable, al buscar siempre sustentarlas. In the Opinion Renegada (Renegade Opinion) Blog, Paul Maršić from the sipmac team lets freedom ring, and lets it loose with his most incendiary opinions based on any given topic. Paradoxically enough his blog is also intended as a responsible one, because he is always seeking to substantiate those opinions.

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