The early nineties spoof genre’s golden standard, a.k.a. Hot Shots – Part Deux motto was “no originality!” i.e., to rip off as many movies as possible to advance the plot (or the lack of). Police Academy similar predicament was to put as many slapstick situations as possible in a very, very, very thin plot.
Back in the eighties, the Police Academy was the most outrageous “gross out” material available with a PG rating (that wasn’t in the spoof genre). Kids were the fondest of the impossible inane franchise: taking the lame (to modern standards) jokes out, there was nothing to watch but Michael Winslow’s funny noise racket and George Gaines’ hilariously senile and serendipitous rendition of the Commandant Lassard. “Porky’s” was out of our reach for most of us, and nowadays I wouldn’t touch the trite flick with a ten-foot pole. Please give me some “Revenge of the Nerds” anytime.
Milking that pedestrian formula and with every new installment, a very few careers and even the PA franchise itself sank into irrelevance and oblivion. Its main target audience grew up and found lots of better things to do than amuse themselves retelling the entire movies. Like NKOTB and Vanilla Ice records, case in point.
As the dreadful Dr. sipmac said, this is the sequel-and-known-brand-only film era, so Police Academy is a go again; the known-and-tested franchise will be rebooted because there’s money to be made without taking excessive risks. I can almost see what is going to happen. The goofy tone of the original movies will be scrapped for a modern and reckless American Pie-style sensibility. If movie execs succeed in luring another generation into the theaters and into the franchise by creating a new Police Academy in Name Only (PAIN-O), Porky’s and a bunch of very regrettable eighties movies will be next. Maybe the ensemble cast will be featuring washed up former-stars-turned-trainwrecks Lindsay Lohan and Tara Reid with this generation’s most hated hack Shia Lebouf; that would suffice to scare people off, but I’m not counting on it.
Please don’t go to watch it. It’s not worth it. That will be like opening Pandora’s Box. The Mayan prophecy will come true.
- PAIN-O (Police Academy in Name Only), or the first horseman of the apocalypse (paulmarsic.wordpress.com)
- How Do We Update The Police Academy Franchise 4 Tha Kidz? (videogum.com)
- Scott Zabielski Signed to Direct ‘Police Academy’ Remake (slashfilm.com)
- Part-time police officer to direct Police Academy reboot (guardian.co.uk)
- Police Academy To Be Remade And Bruce Almighty To Get Sequel (screencrave.com)
- Police Academy remake confirmed (telegraph.co.uk)
- Unnecessary Remake of the Day (thedailywh.at)
- Film: Newswire: That Police Academy reboot now has a director (avclub.com)